Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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