Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
