White coat. Heels.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize