How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
