I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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