Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it's great music for shaving your balls
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
