he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
