pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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