My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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