you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
