chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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