a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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