oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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