my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
