when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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