wanna go halves on a baby?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I want her autograph on my taint
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
