Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
