if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
