Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
