when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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