If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
