If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he thought i was a dude.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
