She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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