it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
