She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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