what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
