cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize