You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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