when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
