Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
