how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
These tits shall not be calmed
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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