I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
