I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How external is "for external use only"?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
