you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
