I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
