Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
