I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
