yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
