I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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