i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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