How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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