im drinking this country out of the recession.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
