Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If its not for food we ain't going out.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
