Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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