what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
