Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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