DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
