So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
