You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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