I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
