we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
