OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
