She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
