That's intense
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
