I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize