He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
