Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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