She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
