Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
