So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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