He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
