Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
