Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize